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 veryhotthread  Author  Topic: Dumb blond jokes  (Read 4708 times)
Captain Pie
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xx Dumb blond jokes
« Thread started on: Dec 10th, 2004, 7:48pm »

Allright, so we have all heard a dumb blond joke at some point in our lives...If you haven't, shame on you! JK! grin Anyway, i remember seeing a similar thread a while ago, but it didn't show up on the search. So , naturally, I took the luberty to start a dumb blond joke board! Tell any and all (well, maybe we don't have room for ALL) dumb blond jokes that you know. If you have a favorite, post it. I love these jokes, they are soooo funny! I always make fun of my friend because she's blond, and these jokes fit her personality nicely. Anywho, here are some from me:

1.What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

2.A blond, a redhead, and a brunette are stuck on an island. They decide to try and swim to the nearest civilized landmass. The redhead swims 1/4 of the way, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnete swims half of the way,gets tired, and drowns. The blond swims half way to the land mass, gets tired, and swims back to the island.
3. How do blond brain cells die?
Alone
4.How do you make a blond laugh on Friday?
Tell her a joke on Monday.
5. A blond was on her way to work when she found out her mother had died. She was very sad but decided to go to work anyway. Her boss asked her if she wanted the day off, and she said work would distract her. Later, her boss went to check on her and found her crying. He asked if it was because of her mother. The blond said ," No, it's not that. My sister just called and her mom died too!"

I have a lot more jokes, but dont have time to post them right now. Have fun, and remember this sint meant to offend anyone or be hurtful. Oh, you can post some redneck jokes, too. (again, not meant to be offensive)
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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #1 on: Dec 11th, 2004, 01:02am »

Oh cool jokes Piper, The last one was hilarious. Here is one I read in Reader's Digest.

A blond, a brunnete and a Redhead are facing a crisis on judgement day. Their sins and good deeds are balanced out evenly but God is not giving them an entry into Heaven until they prove themselves worthy.

So out comes a magic mirror, and they are each ordered to look in the mirror and pass a truthful flattering comment about what they see. If they do say the truth St. Peter will come along and guide them to the Pearly gates, but if they lie The Devil will gobble them up.

The brunnette looks into the mirror and says " I think I am strong woman with glamour and grace."

POOF .. she is banished into hell.

The redhead looks into the mirror and says " I think I am a strong minded woman .. "

POOF .... she is also banished into satan's lair.

The blond looks into the mirror, concentrates hard to find something nice which will also be true. She hits the jackpot and says,

"I think ..."

POOF.
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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #2 on: Dec 11th, 2004, 09:18am »

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead all go to the desert and they can bring one thing with them to help them survive. The brunette brings some food, the redhead brings water, and the blonde brought a car door, so when she got hot, she would roll down the window

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all stranded in a desert, and suddenly a genie pops up and said, if you slide down this slide and shout the name of the liquid you want, you will slide into a pool of that liquid. The brunette slid down and shouted, "Water!", and she dropped into a pool of water. The redhead slid down and shouted, "Gatorade!" and fell into a pool of gatorade. The blonde slid down, and she couldn't think of a liquid, so she yelled "Weeee!" (I think you can imagine what kind of liquid she fell into)

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sign at the bottom of the pool

There, thats my 2 cents

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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #3 on: Dec 11th, 2004, 8:58pm »

on Dec 11th, 2004, 09:18am, ChoChang66 wrote:
The blonde slid down, and she couldn't think of a liquid, so she yelled "Weeee!" (I think you can imagine what kind of liquid she fell into)


That shows my blonde-ness, because it took me like a minute to get that. grin

Here's my contribution:

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
Cause she was throwing away all the W's!

Yes, stupid, I know. The other ones I know are worse, so I won't make you all suffer through them.
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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #4 on: Dec 12th, 2004, 08:37am »

Well, I really don't know any blonde jokes, because well...I don't know. But, I just found these really funny and had to post here, if I find out a Blonde Joke, I will edit this post and post it..I'm sure one of my friends know some! Oh, great jokes guys! I can laugh again!
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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #5 on: Dec 14th, 2004, 08:35am »

I know one, but it's neither blonde nor redneck. here goes:
There was this old lady who went to buy a mansion. She wanted to give her mansion a name, but couldn't think of anything. So she said, "I'll name the first thing I hear when I turn on the TV." So she turned on her TV, and the first word that came up was 'Hairy butt'. Later that week this old little lady adopted a dog. She couldn't find a name for her dog, so she said, "I'll name the first thing I hear when I turn on the TV." This time when she turned on the TV the first thing she heard was 'crack'. So one day she lost her dog. She looked all over the place for him. Finally she gave up and went to the police. She walked up to the desk and told the guy, "Sir, I've looked all over my hairy but, but I couldn't find my crack!" cheesy cheesy
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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #6 on: Dec 14th, 2004, 12:07pm »

Seasonal one here:

The Easter Bunny, A Smart Blonde and Santa are all falling off a cliff.

Who lands first?


Santa, the other two dont exist.
Laugh out Loud
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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #7 on: Dec 14th, 2004, 6:37pm »

Yayness! I have more blond jokes! I really liked Cap'n LeoThugs's joke! 'Twas funny. Here are some more of mine:

What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blond hair?
Last years hide and go seek winner.

Two blonds observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Blond#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blond#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!

Why did the blond climb up to the roof of the bar?
She heard that the drinks were on the house.

How do you keep a blond busy all day?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.


A blonde and a burnette jump off a cliff, both at the same time.Who hits first?
The burnette, because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.


Teehee, these keep me amused... My friends and I know tons of these, and I got some other ones from the internet. Hope you have a laugh!
« Last Edit: Dec 14th, 2004, 6:39pm by Captain Pie » User IP Logged

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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #8 on: Dec 14th, 2004, 10:00pm »

on Dec 10th, 2004, 7:48pm, PiperRulez wrote:
1.What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.


Hee hee. The one I know like that goes:

What should you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
~run. She's got the grenade in her mouth

And here's my fav:

There's a blonde working on a puzzle and for some reason it just won't come together. No matter what she does, It doesn't look anything like the picture on the box. Finally she calls her boyfriend bawling and says "Can you come help me with this? I'm having a really hard time with this puzzle. No matter what I do, I can't get it to look like the picture on the box." The boyfriend says, "Are you sure you're looking at the right box?" The blonde says, "yes, it's supposed to be a picture of a tiger and I can't get it right!" So the boyfriend goes over to help and when he gets there he says "let me see this box" And the blonde throws it at him "fine! Don't believe me! Look there! It's supposed to be a tiger!" she shouts pointing at the box of Frosted Flakes.

hee hee... these are almost as much fun as polish jokes...
« Last Edit: Dec 14th, 2004, 10:00pm by Ostara » User IP Logged

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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #9 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 01:33am »

I know that this thread is pre-historic. But humour never dies out .. so ......

Two blondes walked into a building.

You think at least one of them might have noticed it.
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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #10 on: Sep 19th, 2006, 9:10pm »

An airhostess comes across a blonde in first class.

"Excuse me Miss, can I please see your ticket?"

The blonde shows the airhostess her ticket.

"I'm sorry Miss this ticket is for a seat in economy."

The blonde looked at the airhostess with the utmost disgust and said, "I'm blonde, beautiful, and I have large breasts and I'm going to London."

The airhostess tried insistently that the blonde woman move but all she said was, "I'm blonde, beautiful, and I have large breats. I'm going to London."

Throwing her hands up in the air, the airhostess went to the co-piolet and told him of the blonde.

"Ok, you wait here and I'll sort her out."

So the airhostess waited a few moments, and when she saw that the blonde woman was moving to economy, she asked the co-piolet as he returned, "How did you get her to move?"

"Easy." He told her, "I just said that first class wasn't going to London"
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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #11 on: Sep 20th, 2006, 8:45pm »

One otherwise fine day, the blond, being the kind of person that likes to shout things out before she thinks, gets her friends in some trouble and they end up being chased down by a very angry redneck mob with pitchforks.

The blond, brunette, and redhead take cover in a barn on somebody's property. Some potato sacs are laying on the floor and all three crawl inside and lay still.

The leader of the mob of angry townspeople steps up to the first potato sac (the redhead's) and pokes it.

"Meow, meow!" says the redhead.

"Aw, shucks, it's just a cat," says the man. He walks over to the second potato sac (the brunette's), and gives it a sound poke with the pitchfork.

"Ruff, ruff!" says the brunette.

"S'aright folks! Just a dog," says the man. He steps up to the third potato sac (the blond's) and pokes it.

"Potato! Potato!" screams the blond.

................

So anyway, the blond, brunette, and redhead are busted. All three hop out of the potato sacs and run for their lives.

But sadly the mob catches up to them. After some quick discussion the townspeople agree that the most fitting punishment would be to shoot them all.

First they line up the redhead, which royally pisses the redhead off because she always has to go first. Just as the people are about to pull their triggers, she screams, "Tornado!"

The sheltered and gullible townspeople whip around. "Tornado! Where's the tornado!?" But by the time they figure out there is no tornado, the redhead has escaped.

So they haul the brunette over. Right as she is about to be filled full of holes, she yells, "Lightning! Lightning!" The slow people whip around. "Lightning! Where's the lightning!?" But by the time they realize their mistake, the brunette is on her way to Mexico.

Royally pissed off now, the firing squad roughly siezes the blond. And right before they are about to pull their triggers, the blond yells,

"Fire!"

........................
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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #12 on: Sep 20th, 2006, 8:59pm »

1.) A blonde pulls the pin from a grenade and throws the grenade, and squees with delight when it goes BOOM.

She takes out another grenade and pulls the pin too, but doesn't throw it. An onlooker tells her throw the grenade or else it will explode, to which she replies.

"Don't worry about that, I've a got a couple more grenades in my pocket."


2.) A Blonde calls her boyfriends

" Why don't you come over by 8 o'clock tonite. There will be no one at home, the folks are all going out for late night dinner."

The boyfriend happily says he will make it. When he reaches the blonde's house at 8 ....he finds that there is really NO ONE at home.
« Last Edit: Sep 20th, 2006, 9:00pm by Leo » User IP Logged

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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #13 on: Oct 8th, 2006, 09:50am »

OK, a blonde finds a jigsaw puzzle and decides to put it together. So she starts, she finds it pretty difficult, but she doesn't give up and a few weeks later, she's almost finished. A friend comes over and says:"say, you're taking an awful long time to do that puzzle!" and the blonde says: "what do you mean? It only took me two weeks, and on the box it says "2-5 years"! "

A blonde, brunette & redhead are stranded on a desert island. A fairy appears and says : I will grant you each one wish only". The brunette says "I wish to go home to America!" and poof! she's gone. The redhead says; "I wish to go home to England", and poof! she's gone. The blonde says: "I'm lonely. I wish the other two were back here."
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xx Re: Dumb blond jokes
« Reply #14 on: Oct 9th, 2006, 02:03am »

I just have to comment that the second joke was a classic, Parvati. Just made me crack up.


A blonde and a Brunette go the the underground railway station, the brunette approaches the ticket counter addressing the stationmaster,

"Can I take this train to Glasgow?"

The stationmaster says, "No, lass."

Sighing heavily the brunette walks off when the blonde walks up to the counter nervously and says to the station master timidly,

"Please sir, May I?"

« Last Edit: Oct 9th, 2006, 02:05am by Leo » User IP Logged

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